I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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