ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Boobs speak an international language.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Randomize
