oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
