We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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