the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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