well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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