ya dads aren't the best wingmen
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
