sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
well you can't waste a boner
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
