I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
