Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
