dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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