Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
