Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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