Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
