dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
