Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
