I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
