if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
