i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
she peed on how many people?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
