she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
