I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
