my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
