He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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