So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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