is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
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