My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
