Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
