So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
