I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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