Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
