Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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