Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
