she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Drunk is not a location!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
