Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
