and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
