she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
