I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
