So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
