I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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