So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
