Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
