I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
