Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
