Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
