The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
