At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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