He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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