My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
