I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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