She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
